{"id":143618,"created_at":"2020-06-06 11:03:15","updated_at":"2021-04-23 15:38:37","deleted_at":null,"published_at":"2020-06-06 11:03:15","original_id":null,"artist_id":3943,"title":"04. Dear Father","slug":"04-dear-father","status":"published","description":null,"album_id":null,"streets":1,"source_type":"s3","source":"file","lyrics":"*Verse*\r\nIt ain\u2019t really music if it don\u2019t hit the heart, hit you hard, make you dance or pick it apart. Speaking of that I\u2019d love to speak to my dad, date this record and let him tell me I\u2019m, but sadly my own sanity makes me think of so many things henny to drown my pain or xenny to keep sane, it\u2019s plain I won\u2019t use any but live in vein it\u2019s a shame I could not be there to comfort mommy in pain. We grieve in different ways, niggas gave me my space I laugh as I go through phases of facing what\u2019s happening daily crazy how I feel really I hate it how people pity me, show\u2019s that they care but I need me some air, the bigger picture is blur but God\u2019s painting is clear, came to my ears that father is no longer here my hands started shaking, my hearted started breaking questioning reality please somebody wake me. the cross on my chain hit the ground what is this Satan, started debating with I across the railway my happiness fading God somebody save me I say this asking my savior but sadly I cannot save you I\u2019m shook, if this is what\u2019s took what\u2019s given in place, cause God\u2019s grace is more worthy than Him at the gates now look at my face the smile that I wear shows my faith, I\u2019m grounded in prayer thinking what I\u2019d be without parents. Apparently I got a pair of me who is now in paradise, patronized by people who show pity in paragraphs my minds paralyzed these pair of lines could be a lie, but real eyes they realize the real lies. So, if this hits your heart, phone or radio, know that I meant it to, needed a minute to speak my pain before I see the fam now dad I hope that I get to you. Hope that the heavenly gates open at the sight of you, hope that your brother and parents have now invited you, hope that you monitor our lives as we mourning you, here\u2019s from my heart I\u2019m hurt but I can\u2019t show it maybe I need some closure the closer I step the colder it gets this is uncalled for me writing this song right now is all I can do capture the moment hold it in time to show I care too thinking of times when I wanted you dead too now I dare to speak of your greatness as a dad too these memories I tattoo the jokes cracked have now broken. I hold the strop of the yolk that you carried and move slowly, because the road you gonna have to show me. the only thing that I know is that you know what\u2019s best for me, me thinking I know best is blasphemy now put that on God\u2019s word that\u2019s prophecy. I back paddle to puzzle my shattered heart, thinking about my mother and how it\u2019s really that hard. Thinking about the people who hear this will they believe it its screened in the world beyond, infinity is still a limit. The value of your worth in my life is as my living. I\u2019m digging deep hoping that I hit the pipe with emotions the pie of emotions I just cut my half and pray that played my part now father this is my start I\u2019m out","download_count":92,"play_count":0,"restrict_download":0,"generated_thumbnail":null,"flag_count":0,"download_count_24":1,"download_count_24_at":"2021-04-23","reupload_sent":0,"thumb_path":"https:\/\/s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com\/sol-assets\/uploads\/public\/5ed\/b5b\/d0e\/thumb_431239_300_300_0_0_crop.jpg","status_reason":"published","status_reason_alt":null,"tags":[]}